Oh dear

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I think I am getting cold feet. I don't know if I can make the commitment. This feeling always happens to me when I try something new that I want to do well. This is why I so often have grand ideas and then don't follow through. I don't like to do things that I am not good at, so invariably  there are situations I don't put myself in - to avoid failure.

It is for this reason that I need to just bite the bullet and do this. I need to go ahead with starting a blog. It will help to give me structure in my week and give me something to focus on for me - outside of my family, my work and uni. 

I think one of my biggest problems - and the reason I get anxious - is I have a terrible habit of wanting everything now. I want what I write to be the best it can, I want it to look the best it can, I want the topics I talk about to be the most interesting and attract readers. I then panic that things wont meet my expectations, so I give up.

Then I saw that Maxabella and Sarah have looked in on me - two of the most wonderful bloggers I have been following. That really freaked me out. It means that the words I write may actually get read. I then panicked that I wouldn't be interesting enough.

Maybe I am looking at it all wrong. I need to realise that things like this take practice. They take skill and time. I had big plans with the post I wrote to put up tomorrow - as all new things should start on Monday - but I think I need to refocus.  I need to start small and basic and most importantly, honestly. I need to not worry about what people think of me, I need to write the truth and not create "an ideal me" and just learn the skill of writing for an audience. 

So I have scrapped the post I was going to do for tomorrow, that can be used at a later time. I am instead going to go off now, write something new and start with the basics. I will start with an introduction about me, why I am doing this and what I hope to achieve. It isn't going to be 'edge of your seat' reading, but it will be a good place for me to start this journey.

Chantel x

Save me a seat please.

I have spent the last few months 'planning' to set up a blog. I spent ages reading through the ones I love, deciding between Blogger and WordPress, trying to decide on a name and how I wanted to present myself. I have gone through countless templates, trying to get just the right 'feel'.

So now, here I am, after months of what was sterling procrastination, writing my first post. But I don't intend to start my blog today. No. I plan on starting for 'real' on Monday. Why start today what could be put off until Monday? Monday, the beginning of a new week. Even better, the beginning of a new month. 

You will see that procrastination is a bit of a theme in my writing, I would win a medal if there was a World Championship - providing I got beyond just talking about it and actually entered it!

Think of this post as the "save me a seat" request. The entree, or prologue. It is the post that I am using to get my bearings, work out how to use images and citation and what my words are going to look like "up in lights". Monday is the main act, where the excitement starts, can you handle the anticipation?

So, stayed tuned for post 2 - that is when the quality (ahem) begins. I promise. (I also promise to sort out my spacing - it looks messy!)

Chantel x

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