Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Happiness is.....


....sneaking into Zeb's room and watching him sleep,

....rubbing my nose through Keisha's freshly washed mane of fur,

....the smell of freshly mown lawn,

....a coffee made by Husband on a Sunday afternoon,

....waking up early on a Saturday morning only to remember it is my turn to sleep in,

....starting to declutter our house, getting ready to pack for our big move North,

....making plans for a new blog, designs, titles and ongoing content (stay tuned!),

....learning the tools of the trade from some inspirational bloggers

....scouring websites and reviews to try to decide what computer is best to suit our needs

....knowing that my inspiring friend's beautiful little boy could arrive any day now,

....spending balmy evenings in the company of old, best friends,

....celebrating 6 years of marriage with a fancypants meal and instead of having a dessert, going back for a second entree (and then I may have also had dessert.......),

....planning a day of shopping and a pedicure All. By. Myself,

....getting excited that there is only 63 sleeps til Christmas,

....filling up my diary with summer, Christmassy catch ups with good friends

....spending as much time with our families as we know when we make our move, visits will be few and far between,

....planning our next getaway - tropical, skiing or shopping?

....watching re-runs of 'How I Met Your Mother' scattered in between episodes of 'Thomas the Tank'

....knowing that whatever we do, wherever we end up, we are on this journey together.

Happiness is right here. Right now.

Linking up today with the awesome Jess from Diary of a SAHM for I Blog on Tuesdays. Head on over and check out some awesome posts.


Sunday, 21 October 2012


When it came to a proposal of marriage, I was a pretty lucky girl. I had waited 10 years for it, but it eventually came. We were on a trek through Tibet to Everest Base Camp and after a few false starts (gastro, never getting any privacy) TBone proposed on the day we spent at Base Camp, on the top of the world. I am so glad the other times he tried to propose didn't work, as the place he did propose was just magical!
We were at the furtherest spot we, as plebs who werent paying $60,000 to climb further, could go and were taking photos. Just as he was about to do it, another guy from our travel group proposed to his partner in front of everyone and I could see TBone getting really antsy. He eventually took me away from the rest of the group and popped the question. I said yes, and plans started to be made.
We got married one year later, back in Perth, surrounded by friends from our new lives in England, old friends and family.
6 years on, we have added the most adorable boy to our little family and I am still having the time of my life.
Happy Anniversary Husband xxxxx

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

It's Arrived!

Look what arrived today!!!!! I am so excited. Can't wait to introduce him to Zeb and get him to name him. I am pretty sure he will choose Thomas - after the tank engine :) looking forward to having some creative poses and hiding places each morning

www.elfontheshelf.com - that's the US site - I got mine from www.angusrobertson.com.au

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Only 70 Sleeps

After yesterday's somber post, I thought I would go to my happy place - as it is only

70 sleeps until Christmas!!!!!!!

Yep, that's right, only 10 short weeks.

I am one of those painful people who LOVES Christmas and doesn't apologise for it. For the month of December, I drink out of my Christmas mug, eat breakfast from my Christmas bowl and get so excited planning the festivities.

This year is the first year Zeb should 'get' the whole Father Christmas thing and what is going on. I can't wait. Some of things we will be doing to celebrate:

Last Saturday of November means 'Christmas Tree Chopping Down Day'. That's the day we scour rows and rows of pine trees looking for that perfect one that is worthy of pride of place in our living room.

Then we watch TBone chop it down.

Once found, we take it home, let it settle, then on the 1st of December, decorate it. We have collected decorations from everywhere we have been in the world and I love decorations that have a story behind them.


This year, I have ordered Elf on the Shelf for the first time. The elf is sent by Father Christmas to watch over the children in the house to make sure they behave. Each night they head back to the North Pole to report, so in the morning you will find him in a different pose, in a different place.

I bought mine from Angus and Robertson online

I have been buying really cheap books over the last few months, so we will be doing a

Christmas Book Advent. Each day in December leading up to Christmas, Zeb will get to open a new book for his bedtime story. I got this idea from pinterest (see pin details below).



For the last 2 years, I have been meaning to get a Santa sack for Zeb, but never seem tofind the right one. Most seem too small, so I may as well make one - must put that on my 'to do' list.

I saw this on the wonderful Sarah's page over at Dear Baby G. She made this last year, so while the crafty bug is sweeping through, I may have a go for the front door!

Hopefully, December will be full of good food, catching up with countless friends and family

What will your Christmas look like?

Linking up as always on a Tuesday with Jess from www.diaryofasahm.net



Monday, 15 October 2012

15th October

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day around the world. It is a day parents can honour babies who passed away from miscarriage, still birth or post natal death.

I never wanted to be a member of this club. We had our first miscarriage in 2009, the pregnancy before Zeb. The pregnancy lasted 8 short weeks and we were heart broken. We were so fortunate to have a successful pregnancy immediately following. It was a stressful pregnancy as I was constantly on edge that it would happen again, but it was physically an easy pregnancy with the most amazing result. 

This time round, we have had four miscarriages over a period of 10 months. All have been pregnancies that have lasted around six and a half weeks. I am fortunate I know why this is happening. I have a chromosome translocation - basically means I have scrambled eggs -   only two of every six eggs that I produce will result in a viable pregnancy - I just have to wait for the right egg to drop.

In the meantime, we are dealing with the grief of losing multiple pregnancies. Each time we get a positive pregnancy test, there is joy, overshadowed by fear that it could happen again. Each time a miscarriage happens, my heart shatters a bit more. I grieve for what could have been. We so desperately want a brother or sister for Zeb and I am not getting any younger. There is sadness with each miscarriage, but also it feels like a waste of time, a wasted opportunity and takes us further from our goal. 

I am fortunate our miscarriages are happening in early pregnancy. I don't have the heartache of some parents who see their fully formed babies on scans, those who deliver sleeping babies, or those whose babies struggle for life from their first breaths and don't end up going home. At the same time, I question if I have the right to grieve about my situation, do I deserve to feel sad, when really we are only losing a small bunch of cells. We haven't lost what some people have and I can only imagine the heart break they are experiencing.

But I do feel sad, I do need to own and validate my feelings and my grief. My grief has turned my life upside down these last few months and things have been that little bit harder than usual. I haven't been the best mum, wife, daughter or friend I can be, and that distresses me more. 

But we have hope. We hold on to the fact that ours is a game of roulette and eventually the odds will fall into our hands. Each morning, as I go to wake Zeb up, my heart fills with so much love for him and hope that we can create a baby as perfect as him in the near future. We just have to keep on hoping.

Today, share a thought for those parents who didn't bring their babies home. 


Saturday, 13 October 2012


For today's home work for Blogging Your Way, I have chosen the prompt 'who inspires you'.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a high powered career woman. I was fortunate enough to be afforded opportunities and was raised to believe I could do and be anything I wanted to be. In a way I felt sorry for my mum, who gave up her occupation to raise the three of us. I felt that in a way, she had to make sacrifices, she gave up her identity and she conformed to what was expected of her in a very 'patriachial' society (I really thought I was such a feminist ;) ) 

Then I had Zeb, and my whole world view was flipped on its head. I realised that everything I ever wanted from my life, could be satisfied by being his mum. I know that there are people who totally disagree, and don't want to be defined by being a mum and strive for that career recognition and recognition of their self. Three years ago, that was me. I thought I would have a quick period of maternity leave, then be back being everything to everybody. 

I have now realised I don't want that. I crave to be a stay at home mum, and spend my days playing and watching him grow. The days he goes to day care or is with his Nanna, I spend wondering what he is doing, what he is thinking and miss him terribly. I actually like the kid. I love spending time with him, love his take on the world and love making him smile.

He is what inspires me. He is what keeps me going and getting out of bed each day. Zeb is what makes all the heartache we have had the last 10 months with 4 miscarriages worthwhile, he is why we keep going as we know if we can crack it, we can come up with perfection. 

He inspires me to be the best mum I can be, to be a role model for him, by being the best 'me' I can be and by showing him that with perserverence you can get to where you want to be. In five months time, I get to be a full time mum to him, and regardless of 18 year old Chantel thinking I am selling out,  I can't wait! 

Friday, 12 October 2012

Blogging My Way

Lhargan La Pass, Tibet

I am a pretty hit and miss blogger at the moment, and you may have noticed I have only been posting on the occasional Tuesday. I do want to do this better though, I do want to engage with my readers and build a community here, I just feel so overwhelmed with the scope and potential of blogging sometime, so I end up not posting anything.

I have mentioned before that we were looking at a potential move (for those playing along, Darryl won out) and this is now happening in early next year. I am getting so excited about this as not only is it an amazing career opportunity for TBone, it is also an opportunity for me to be a stay at home mum. This is something I have always wanted, and simply can not wait to spend more time nurturing and enjoying my little man. 

I am really hoping this will also afford me the opportunity for more blogging and I have big plans. I am going to look at a whole new web design, name change and directional change which will launch in January next year. I want to pin down my 'niche' (apparently everyone has to have a niche - and efficient use of emoticons is not one :( ) I am hoping I will also be able to be more consistent as a blogger and blog regularly and hopefully improve the quality.

One of the ways I am hoping to improve content and ideas in this space, is I have just started a course run by the fabulous Holly Becker from decor8 called Blogging Your Way. The course focuses giving you tools to improve the whole blogging experience and from what I have seen so far, I think I will learn a lot. I am also really hoping to improve my photography skills. We will be moving to one of the most beautiful, desolate, magical places in the world and would be a wasted opportunity if I don't document it visually also. 

So, for the next few weeks, there may be some posts that seem a bit more introspective than usual, but they are most likely part of my 'homework' for the course. If you have a blog, or are thinking about starting a blog, I definitely recommend heading to check out Holly's blog, (it is so pretty!!!) and also check out her workshops.

Happy Weekend!!!

Tuesday, 9 October 2012



"they're the people that you meet, when you're walking down the street"

Growing up in a small country town, the community around you is very important. My parents instilled in us a strong sense of community, participating in events that nurtured the town and supporting our neighbours as needed.

I then moved to boarding school - a large school, but with a small boarding section. That boarding house became my community for 2 years. 5 year levels of girls from many varying backgrounds, living together in close quarters, embracing each other as family. We laughed, cried, fought homesickness and bumbled our way through crappy teenage times, making friends for life. 

Moving to England, we became part of a different community. A group of people from all over the world, exploring a new country. We became each others families, celebrating birthdays, Christmases and holidays together, filling the gaps that would usually be filled by brothers, sisters and parents.

Since returning to Perth, we have lived close to the city centre and like most suburbs, there is limited interaction with neighbours around us. That sense of local community is not found in our neighbourhoods, so we need to look for our community elsewhere. A community that has become a big part of my life and I know will continue to be when we make our big move to quite an isolated area, is the blogging community. It has reached out and embraced me and allowed me to put my voice out there, regardless of how ill formed my sentences or grammar may be. I love reading a snap shot of people's lives, commenting on their posts, finding new blogs I can explore in the same way I used to devour books and slowly developing the confidence to share my love of crafting words. 

Over the last month, I have not posted on my blog. My words have been AWOL as I don't want what has been going through my mind lately to be written as words that represent me. I have however, still felt a big part of the community. I have still been part of the wonderful IBOT community that Jess has mention previously here, involved in commenting each week. I have had regular chats with the wonderful IBOT Allstars girls, Jess, Yvette, Lyndal, Rachel, Rhianna and Denyse, I have spoken to tweeps on twitter and lovely messages have been left as both comments on my blog and the blog Facebook page. I have even been for a long walk on a beautiful spring morning with fellow Perth bloggers Yvette and Felicakes (who says that bloggers don't get outdoors!!)

I suppose what I am saying is regardless of our relationships with our families and friends (I am so blessed on both fronts) we can all benefit from being part of a community. A group of people, with similar interests, that can support each other on life's journey.

Linking up today with the most awesome Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT. Head on over to her wonderful community and read some amazing words.