Saturday, 13 October 2012

Inspiration




For today's home work for Blogging Your Way, I have chosen the prompt 'who inspires you'.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a high powered career woman. I was fortunate enough to be afforded opportunities and was raised to believe I could do and be anything I wanted to be. In a way I felt sorry for my mum, who gave up her occupation to raise the three of us. I felt that in a way, she had to make sacrifices, she gave up her identity and she conformed to what was expected of her in a very 'patriachial' society (I really thought I was such a feminist ;) ) 

Then I had Zeb, and my whole world view was flipped on its head. I realised that everything I ever wanted from my life, could be satisfied by being his mum. I know that there are people who totally disagree, and don't want to be defined by being a mum and strive for that career recognition and recognition of their self. Three years ago, that was me. I thought I would have a quick period of maternity leave, then be back being everything to everybody. 

I have now realised I don't want that. I crave to be a stay at home mum, and spend my days playing and watching him grow. The days he goes to day care or is with his Nanna, I spend wondering what he is doing, what he is thinking and miss him terribly. I actually like the kid. I love spending time with him, love his take on the world and love making him smile.

He is what inspires me. He is what keeps me going and getting out of bed each day. Zeb is what makes all the heartache we have had the last 10 months with 4 miscarriages worthwhile, he is why we keep going as we know if we can crack it, we can come up with perfection. 

He inspires me to be the best mum I can be, to be a role model for him, by being the best 'me' I can be and by showing him that with perserverence you can get to where you want to be. In five months time, I get to be a full time mum to him, and regardless of 18 year old Chantel thinking I am selling out,  I can't wait!