I returned to work three days a week when my son was 12 months old. For the last 6 months, he has spent those three days each week with my mum. I will be forever grateful to her for what she has done, which has allowed me to return to work with no qualms about how Master Z is travelling.
As he is now 18 months, I wanted him to have something a bit different, get some extra socialisation and expand his friend base. Trying to get him into somewhere has been tough, as the place I had his name down initially, wont have a place until he turns 2 and the other place his name was down advised me they had a 2 day minimum policy just as I was about to enrol. I almost sent him there, but then reassessed why he is going in the first place - he is a very social boy, loves other kids, sees other children several times a week and while Mum remains more than happy to continue with 2 days, he doesn't need to go a second day.
So, he started at my third choice on Monday. I am currently on annual leave, so Monday was just a trial day, he will be starting properly next Monday.
I had no hesitation or worry about sending him. I thought he was very ready for it, would not cry at all when I left and as he behaves really well for me, I did not see any reason to worry about him being in someone else's care. The only thing I was worried about was that they would see him as the amazing, well adjusted, good natured little boy that I do.
When I attended yesterday afternoon to pick him up, the report was not what I had been expecting. He didn't cry or look for me - yep, knew that- he was a good eater - yep, knew that - he loved outside - yep, knew that,- fell over about 20 times - yep, knew that (I will be signing one of those "cover our arses" forms every week I am sure!) he had no attention span - ?????? this is the boy who will sit for hours trying to get the square peg in the right hole - and then she said something that crumpled my heart. She said she "had never been so frustrated with a child in her entire life" and that she "had to leave the room she was so frustrated". She said that it was because he wouldn't lay on the mat during sleep / quiet time. She said she eventually had to put her legs over his legs and bottom to keep him there. (???????)
Master Z sleeps 12 hours at night, self settles and sleeps 3 hours during the day - with no fuss. I put him into his cot around 12.30 and don't hear from him until around 3.30pm. I wasn't that worried that he hadn't slept, I figured a new environment and not being in a cot would take getting used to - particularly when there was 14 other children he could be playing with at that time. What did upset me was her reaction and how she phrased it to me. I would never have described Master Z as a 'frustrating' child and I would also have thought that in a childcare situation they regularly deal with toddlers that don't want to do what is next on the routine.
It broke my heart that she didn't see Master Z the way we see him, and that she may be negative towards him because of what she experienced on his first day there. I will take him back next Monday, but will have a chat with the centre co-ordinator to see if he would be better placed in the baby room as he only turned 18 months last week, so may need to be in a room where a cot is available to settle at nap time. I believe deep down, that Master Z would benefit from a day a week in childcare, but because of the type of child he is, I hadn't prepared myself for any issues.
This then becomes one of those things that brings on the guilt at having to return to work and makes me more determined to find a way we could financially manage for me to be a stay at home mum. Until then, he will need to attend once a week and while he is enjoying it and goes there happily, I just need to get over my own angst that one of the carers may not think he is as wonderful as I do.
Have you experienced any issues with a childcarer's attitudes towards your child? How did you approach this with them?
Chantel x
5 comments:
I work and have had no choice but to always use creche, we are on to our third creche due to moving etc and I have looked at a few.
That is NOT on.
Tell the director why you are leaving and get out of there.
There is no need for a one year old to be in creche if you are happy with the current care arrangement. Wait til you get a spot at your first choice.
How dare they hold him down with their legs.
Thanks Claire. I think that is what I will do.
First, HELLLOOOO, didn't even realise you had a blog. Second daycare is one of the great stresses for parents as far as I have witnessed.
I too, chose for a number of reason, none of which were necessity, to have my kids attend daycare one day a week from the time they were six months old.
I did a LOT of research into the daycares I was considering and had my name down from when I was only three months pregnant.
It was pure luck I was this organised and got everything that I wanted.
Three kids and eight years later at the same daycare I have never once felt the need to complain nor taken issue with the way they treated my children.
To have a passive agressive attitude from a carer on the first day does not bode well for your future interactions I fear.
But don't feel guilty, never feel guilty for trying to do the best for your family as a whole. Good luck with getting it sorted to your satisfaction.
xA
Thanks for dropping by.
As for this situation, I'd agree with ClaireyH there. If not lying down causes such frustration that she has to "leave the room", she's in the wrong job.
She should be able to figure out that a new environment might bring on a "must fight sleep" attitude to adjust. She sounds more interested in conformity than care.
Also, I'm a judgmental bastage. :)
The thing I hate the most is not that this woman sounds like she should not be anywhere near children, but the fear Mum's including me have about over-reacting, terrified that if we say the wrong thing our child will pay for it... I think though this situation is worthy of a frank conversation with the co-ordinator and possibly moving him away from that woman one way or another. I wrote an article about my Daycare angst for Sydney's Child so you are so not alone! Nicole x
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