She has asked us to focus on 'who am I?'
Head to edenland to check out some of the wonderful posts that have linked up.
I am 30 something,
I am a wife,
I am a mother,
I am a part time Occupational Therapist and a part time student.
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
I am passionate about play and its role in learning.
I love the stories we get from those who have lived long lives and have seen much.
I like lists.
I like stationery.
I love eating, cooking, wine, travelling and all things geek.
I don’t love frogs, coriander and ironing.
I am a romantic masquerading as a cynic.
I want the underdog to win all the time and I cry when they do.
I love the colour blue, in all its shades.
I say I am an avid reader, but in reality haven’t read anything over 100 pages since 2010.
My son was born in 2010.
I love heavy metal, guitar rock and 90s grunge.
I hit my peak in the 90s and see that as my benchmark of social achievement.
I aim to laugh every day.
I write about my life, my loves, the good times and the hard times.
I don’t apologise for my optimism or those days when pessimism wins out.
I am sure that lately, I have not been the best 'me' I can be. My mind is not on the game, I have snapped at Z when I shouldn't and I have not been totally present when he needs me. I have not been the best friend I can be, I have not been there when they have needed me. I feel like I am teetering on the edge. I have had 3 miscarriages in the last 6 months - my doctor has looked at my dates and numbers and said that it has actually been 5, but for my sanity, I am only counting those that I get a positive test for. They have all been early, and fortunately all been around 6 weeks. But they have all hurt my heart that little bit more each time.
I am lucky. I am not suffering like some people I know that go through fertility problems.
I am lucky I know why it is happening, and I know there are options if the 'luck of the draw' natural way gets too much for us. I know that one in every six of my eggs is a winner, one in every six is like me and Z (wonky genes, but normal?????) and four out of every six are not viable and will end in early miscarriage. I also know, that any pain and heartache is worth it, as each day I get to experience the joy of sharing life with Z, the result of what happens when it goes well.
I know I will get me back soon, I am sure that the annoying Pollyanna will return again soon.
I am strong and we will get there.
I am me.
