And that's my problem. Sometimes I find I can get so caught up with my thoughts, with planning, worrying, decision making, that I forget to actually take action. I get bogged down by the thoughts in my head and get no where.
I have fallen behind in the housework, fallen behind in my paid work as we are at a particularly busy time of the year, and have fallen behind in the things I usually enjoy doing. I have been stressing about my commenting system on the blog for the last week and the fact that I wasnt able to reply to the comments on my post last week. I get so caught up in thinking how I am going to direct my blog, I only seem to be posting once a week. I stress every Monday night about getting a blog post ready for today, and the fact that if I can get it linked up at 430am my time, I will get more views and comments. This leads to a gazillion (ok, 6) posts started, but now sitting in my drafts box. It means when I wake up at 7am, there are already 40 or so blogs linked and I wonder if it's worth even posting, but I love commenting on IBOT, so you all get a mish mash version of my thoughts instead of something considered and profound - one day I will write something profound, just you wait! :) I have 863 blog posts to read in my reader, I don't want to miss out on any, but know I am going to have to declare an amnesty and start again.
I am worrying about our big move in 6 months, I am worrying about if we will ever be able to add to our family and worrying about what my life is going to look like in a year. There's my problem right there - I am stressing over things in the future that aren't totally in my control right now. It's all the small puzzle pieces that I am facing each day that I can control, and they are the ones I should be focussing on. I need to have faith and confidence that things will work out in the best way for us, even if it's not the way I planned, it will end up the way we need. I need to start fitting together the small puzzle pieces that are right in front of me and stop worrying about the big puzzle. The picture will come together naturally.
Life's like that, every one is busy, and everyone has a million balls in the air, whether you are a stay at home mum, part time worker, full time worker and we all want to be all things to all people. We all want to be perfect at everything we turn our hand to and want things to go to our plan.
I have started thinking lately that it is ok if things aren't perfect. It's ok if not everything on the list is ticked off and it's ok to ask for help if you need it. I need to get back to enjoying the journey. I need to stop spending so much time in my head and start doing.
Linking up with Jess over at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT. Head on over to check it out.
